Dear Fanfiction Writers: VOY Style!
by hermione-of-vulcan
Summary: Inspired by Zelda12343's fic "Dear Fanfiction Writers: TOS Style!". When Voyager makes a connection to the Alpha Quadrant, they find that there's one of those irritating temporal anomalies in the way, and they've connected to something they'd never expected... And they have something to say.
1. Chapter 1

"Yes!" B'Elanna cried. "We have a connection to the Alpha Quadrant!"

"Well done, B'Elanna," Janeway congratulated. "And we couldn't have done it without you, Seven."

The blonde tilted her head in acknowledgement as B'Elanna squinted at the data flashing past her on the screen of one of the astrometrics consoles.

"It looks like I've accessed Starfleet's database," she said. Her forehead ridges became more pronounced as she furrowed her brow. "I think. It looks like a database, but it's confusing and I can't read it."

"Try searching for mentions of Voyager." Janeway ordered. "Maybe searching for something specific will clear things up."

B'Elanna tapped at the panel below the screen, and her brow furrowed more. "What's 'Google'?"

"A term for the large number ten to the hundredth power, or an Internet search engine in the late twentieth and early twenty-first century on Earth," Seven replied promptly.

The other two women looked at her in awe.

"The Borg once assimilated a historian whose specialty was the twenty-first century Information Revolution."

"Well, I'm certainly getting information," B'Elanna said. "But it's all about the Voyager space program in the 1970s."

"Seven, scan for temporal distortions," Janeway said, a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Seven tapped at the console directly below the astrometrics lab's near-panoramic screen. A small shape labeled "U.S.S Voyager" appeared on it. The relay that connected to the Alpha Quadrant extended out from the shape of Voyager. A few more taps, and a cloudy black space obscured a section of the relay.

"A temporal distortion," Seven confirmed, zooming in on the fuzzy patch.

Janeway cursed. "Voyager seems to be a magnet for those things. Terminate the link."

"I can't do that, Captain," B'Elanna said, a note of urgency in her voice. "There's something here you need to see."

Seven and Janeway moved over to B'Elanna's console.

"This was the third thing that came up for Voyager," the engineer explained.

"Star Trek: Voyager is a science fiction television series set in the Star Trek universe," Janeway read out loud, her eyes widening. "Set in the 24th century from the year 2371 through 2378, the series follows the adventures of the Starfleet vessel—" Janeway gasped. "—U.S.S. Voyager, which becomes stranded in the Delta Quadrant 70,000 light-years from home while pursuing a renegade Maquis ship. Both ships' crews merge aboard Voyager to make the estimated 75-year journey home."

"This is…surprising," Seven said.

"Surprising doesn't even begin to cover it," Janeway said. "I've always thought our voyage would make a good story, but I never thought I'd find that it was one."

"Especially not in the 20th century," B'Elanna agreed. "We've probably tapped into an alternate universe. I mean, this is just not temporally possible."

"Unless Starfleet's been hiding something," Janeway said. Then she smiled. "I don't know about you two, but I'm curious about this. Does it follow our voyage precisely? Do our actors act like us?"

"What were our ratings?" B'Elanna chimed in. "Who was the favorite character?"

"We must be careful," Seven said. "The description says that the television show covers events through 2378. To avoid the Temporal Prime Directive, we should restrict our viewing to 2376 or earlier."

"A wise precaution, put a filter in place," Janeway said, and Seven and B'Elanna tapped at their consoles for a bit. Once they were done, the captain took the controls eagerly.

"Now, who's this Kate Mulgrew?"

**A/N There are three chapters of backstory, but the other two are shorter than this one, which is short. Then onto the letters! As always, I don't own anything. Especially not the Wikipedia article I quoted from or Kate Mulgrew or Star Trek: Voyager. If I did own Voyager, Harry would have gotten a promotion. **


	2. Chapter 2

"What have the womenfolk been _doing_ in there all day?" Tom asked Chakotay, futilely trying to peek through the asrrometrics lab's doors.

"I don't think B'Elanna would appreciate being called 'womenfolk'," Chakotay replied. "As to what they're doing, I don't know any more than you do and I'm not about to stroll in there and check."

"Aren't you curious, though?" Tom asked.

"Yes, but interfering in the captain's private business isn't something I want to do."

"Fair point," Tom conceded. "But there must be _something_ we can do!"

"Well, they're not going to sleep in there, are they?" Chakotay said. "You can ask B'Elanna when she comes out."

As if Chakotay's words had triggered something, the doors opened and Janeway, B'Elanna, and Seven walked out. Tom and Chakotay darted behind a bulkhead.

Janeway and B'Elanna were smiling broadly and Seven looked mildly amused.

"I can't believe they got it all right!" B'Elanna said in wonder.

"It is interesting to find that our lives were entertainment," Seven said. "We have 'fans'."

"And _you_ seem to be the fan favorite," Janeway said, pointing her finger at Seven.

"At least among the male fans," B'Elanna corrected. She and Janeway laughed as the ex-Borg arched an eyebrow.

"I want to check out fanfiction dot net next," Janeway said once she collected herself. "That'll show us what our fans really think." She paused. "Of course, we might not want to know."

Tom couldn't listen any longer without knowing what they were talking about. He strolled up behind them, attempting to act casual. Chakotay followed reluctantly.

"Hey!" the pilot said. "I was just passing by and I couldn't help overhearing. What's fanfiction dot net?"

"You were not simply 'passing by'," Seven said. "You and Commander Chakotay have been watching us from behind that bulkhead."

Janeway raised an eyebrow. "Tom? Is this true?"

"Yes, ma'am," he said sheepishly. "And don't blame Chakotay, it was my idea."

Janeway pursed her lips in thought. "What do you think?" she asked, turning to the other two women. "Should we let them in on it?"

"It seems unfair not to," Seven said. "They are major characters as well."

"I agree with Seven," B'Elanna said.

The captain nodded. "Seven, go back to astrometrics and find out which crew members are mentioned. Make a list and send it to my ready room."

Seven started back, and B'Elanna raised her eyebrows. "Are you sure you want to let that many people in on it?"

"Yes," Janeway said. "As Seven said, it seems unfair not to."

"In on what?" Tom asked impatiently. "Won't you tell me?"

"Tomorrow at the briefing," Janeway said firmly. "Now, I think somebody has warp coils to realign and someone else has a ship to fly."

Tom and B'Elanna exchanged glances, then parted ways, leaving Chakotay facing the captain alone.

"So…" he said.

Janeway smiled. "You won't get anything out of me until the briefing tomorrow."

Chakotay sighed in disappointment. "I guess I'll just have to wait."

**A/N My treknobabble is faked, I hope it's convincing. One more chapter, and I don't own anything. Thanks to all the reviewers and followers!**


	3. Chapter 3

"…And that is why you are all here today: to learn about your fans," Janeway said, concluding her speech explaining why she'd summoned all the senior staff (Chakotay, Tom, Harry, Tuvok, Neelix, and obviously Seven and B'Elanna) and some others (Naomi Wildman, her mother, and Ensign Vorik) to astrometrics.

The group (excluding B'Elanna and Seven) looked dumbstruck, even the two Vulcans.

"I know this is a lot to take in," Janeway said. "That's why you can see for yourself. Everyone pick a console. Naomi, yours is next to Seven."

"Why do I get a special one?" the little girl asked.

"Because some things are not appropriate for children," Seven told her.

Janeway nodded. "Now, you can browse the Internet using the search engine 'Google' or you can visit some of the bookmarked fan sites. I'm going to be visiting fanfiction dot net."

"So will I," B'Elanna added.

"I will as well. The three of us have browsed the rest of the Internet sufficiently," Seven said.

"I wouldn't say that, Seven," Janeway disagreed. "But I think I have a good enough idea to be able to browse fan work."

Everyone browsed in silence, accessing Google and learning the basics, then moving on to fanfiction, fan art, and merchandise.

A few minutes later, a strange half-screaming, half gagging sound reverberated around the lab.

Heads whipped around to see B'Elanna Torres leap backward from her screen, sending her chair flying across the room. A stream of curse words in both Klingon and Federation Standard poured out of her mouth, causing Neelix to put his hands over Naomi's ears and give the engineer a worried look.

"B'Elanna, what's wrong?" Janeway asked.

"What were those _petaQ _thinking?!" B'Elanna yelled, looking like the Klingon rage was in full force. "Look!"

Janeway looked too, and she gagged too. "What the _hell_!"

Seven joined them, and her eyebrow shot up so high her implant nearly snapped. "I might be able to send messages through the link. We could inform them of our…distaste."

"Oh, yes!" B'Elanna said.

Janeway considered it for a minute. "All right, but I'm going to have to set some ground rules. Always start with 'Dear Fanfiction Writers' and end with 'Sincerely' and then your full name and rank. Keep your messages short and to the point, that way they will be easier to send and cause less temporal discrepancies. And lastly, try to keep it civil."

"What could they do to us?" B'Elanna pointed out.

"Write more bad fanfiction," Seven replied promptly. "I am setting up the link now. They will be sent to the Private Message Inbox of a random writer in the Voyager Archive. If they write what we dislike, they will be informed, if they do not they may agree and spread the word."

Janeway nodded. "All right, if anyone has a problem with something on fanfiction dot net, tell Seven. We might just change some people's minds."

**A/N And now the disclaimer: These are not the views of the author. This is what the author thinks the characters would say about these ideas. And, in most cases, I will refrain from saying whether I agree or disagree to avoid controversy. I'm sorry if they disagree with you. Thanks to all my reviewers and followers! Next chapter: What did B'Elanna see?**


	4. Letter 1

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

Where the HELL did you get the idea that Seven and I are in a sexual relationship?! We most certainly ARE NOT! Did you completely MISS the fact that Tom and I are dating?

Sincerely, Lieutenent B'Elanna Torres

**A/N Jedi Master Misty Sman-Esay, you saw this coming. Tom/B'Elanna FTW!**


	5. Letter 2

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

Commander Chakotay and I are good friends, not lovers. It is not appropriate for a captain and first officer to be in a relationship, as it degrades the command structure.

Sincerely, Captain Kathryn Janeway

**A/N Denial. Denial. Denial.**

**Oh darn, I wasn't going to say my personal feelings about things...**


	6. Letter 3

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

I am aware that I possess many qualities that make me an attractive mate, and that many people on Voyager have noticed. However, that does not mean I return their feelings. Please refrain from implying that I do.

That also does not mean that members of the crew will suddenly develop feelings for me. Do not imply that they will. I am not interested in appearing in romance fics.

Sincerely, Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero-One, chief astrometrics officer of Voyager

**A/N Guest reviewer, look! This letter's longer! :)**

**According to the reviews on the last letter, everyone loves J/C! I have no problem with that whatsoever. :)**

**And, of course, thanks to reviewers! I like your suggestions.**


	7. Letter 4

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

If you are receiving this, it means that my link has worked. I tried setting up my own, so I didn't have to through Seven. I don't know if she's reading the letters before sending them off, but I don't want to risk her reading this.

Thank you for writing Doctor/Seven fanfiction. Please continue! I enjoy reading it. I always felt Seven and I have a lot in common, but she's not willing. I especially like it when she seems in character and she loves me. Please don't stop. Not even if Seven writes a letter telling you to.

Sincerely, The Doctor

**A/N A supportive one! There will more of these sprinkled in.**

**Thanks to reviewers, as always, for support and ideas.**


	8. Letter 5

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

Since the captain's earlier, succinct letter, failed to get the point across, I will write this longer letter explaining it more thoroughly.

A captain and a first officer cannot enter into a relationship. Perhaps the captain needs to send an away team. She may be hesitant to send her boyfriend into danger. What if there is a command decision that requires balanced input from the rest of the crew? She may be more inclined to listen to her boyfriend.

I suppose it is not impossible that two people could work around these, but the captain and I are fine with our relationship the way it is and see no need to go to that effort.

Sincerely, Commander Chakotay

**A/N This won't convince any J/C shippers either, but nice try, Chakotay. :)**

**And, my fellow J/C shippers, you do see he has a point. Even if we don't like it.**


	9. Letter 6

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

Thanks to all of you who noticed I didn't get a promotion and wanted me to get one. The captain has explained it this way: She would promote me, but there would be no one to fill that ensign spot I'd leave. I wanted to say "What about that Lieutenant spot Tom left when he got demoted?", but one doesn't question the captain's decisions. Especially when one is an ensign.

Just because the captain didn't promote me doesn't mean you can't write a fanfic about it. Thank you again for wanting me to get a promotion.

Sincerely, still just an Ensign Harry Kim

**A/N Aw, poor Harry! **

**To J/C shippers: I have another story that is all J/C, it's called "Mocha Truffles". You may want to check it out, since, you know, this story will have letters from other people.**

**To all: It seems I have a pretty good fanbase for this story, so if you like my writing style I would really appreciate it if you checked out my other stories. Hope that doesn't sound too self-promoting.**

**And, as always, thanks to anyone who reviews/faves/follows!**


	10. Letter 7

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

B'Elanna and I are together, and I'm glad most of you support it. But seriously, do you have to write us ALL the time? I mean, sure we're awesome, but there are other people on Voyager, you know.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want you to stop. It's quite flattering. Just…not all the time, please. I do other things besides be B'Elanna's boyfriend. I drive the ship!

Hmm…maybe a Tom Paris/Delta Flyer story?

Sincerely, Ensign Tom Paris

**A/N If someone writes a Tom Paris/Delta Flyer story, I would like a link to it.**

**Thanks for your support, and ideas and requests are welcome!**


	11. Response to Letter 7

"Tom Paris," Seven said in a way that implied a question.

"Yes?" Tom said.

"Your letter has prompted a response. Apparently, the author we sent them to has been posting them as a fanfiction, and a person has 'reviewed'."

"What did you say?" B'Elanna asked curiously.

Tom turned red. "Nothing."

"Obviously not, as someone responded," Seven said matter-of-factly.

"Lemme see," B'Elanna said, leaning over to look at the screen of Seven's console.

Tom sighed, crossed his fingers for luck, and then leaned over as well.

_Dear Tom,_  
_Do not take offense to the amount of fanfiction revolving around you and B'Elanna. We fans were not satisfied with the lack of cute relationship stuff between the two of you, and were forced to take it upon ourselves to fill that void. So do not blame us; blame Voyager's producers._

_We are also well aware of the fact that you do more than just be a couple with B'Elanna. But let's face it, unless there is some sort of crisis happening, a story centered around you flying the ship would be rather dull. You really just press a few buttons, make polite conversation with the other crew members on the Bridge, and wait out the remainder of your shift. Then you have your shifts in Sickbay which can also be rather boring without some other crises._

_I would also suggest that you do not encourage a fic between you and the Delta Flyer any further than you already have. I'm not sure if you've heard of this in your research, but there is a show called "My Strange Obsessions" that had a gentleman that was in love with his car, so much to the point that he was/is intimate with the car in the way that you and B'Elanna would be intimate with each other. So unless you want to read a story with you bumping uglys with the Delta Flyer, I wouldn't mention that ever again. Remember: Fangirls are crazy, and they will write whatever satisfies them._

_Sincerely, _  
_A Fanfiction Writer._

B'Elanna turned to Tom angrily. "WHAT did you say?!" she shouted, grabbing him by his collar.

"It was a joke!" he yelped. "I'll set them straight, I promise! Seven!"

The blonde raised an eyebrow and moved over. B'Elanna released him, and Tom tapped furiously, one eye on his girlfriend so he could duck if she punched him.

_Dear Fanfiction Writer:_

_I have no problem with stories about me and B'Elanna! No problem whatsoever! I was just saying that I didn't want details of my relationship posted for all to see. But now...Go ahead and write all you like. I don't care! _

_You're right, my shifts in sickbay are boring. Tell the Doctor that and see if it he cuts my hours. Probably not, knowing him._

B'Elanna jabbed an elbow into Tom's ribs.

"Ow!"

"Explain about the Tom Paris/Delta Flyer," she ordered. "_Now_."

"I'm getting to it!"

_And I was just joking about Tom Paris/Delta Flyer! I don't want to THINK about that. I really don't. NEVER write it. Or B'Elanna will kill me._

"And don't you forget it," B'Elanna said.

_Sincerely, Ensign Tom Paris_

B'Elanna pushed him aside and started tapping.

_P.S. B'Elanna here. If you fanfiction writers write a Tom Paris/Delta Flyer fic, rest assured, I have a 24th century computer virus that will be more than happy to wipe your account and all your stories out of existance._

Tom nodded solemnly and sent the letter. "B'Elanna, I never thought anyone would respond, I was only joking, really..." He trailed off and looked up at her pleadingly.

She rolled her eyes. "Just don't say anything like that _ever_ again. You understand?"

"Yes, dear," he said meekly.

**A/N The response was written by Pepper9873, and I found it so hilarious I wanted to include it. Thank you, Pepper! Hope I did a good job with the Tom/B'Elanna. **

**In other news, this fic has hit the 55 reviews! I'd have a party and invite you all, but that's kind of impossible on the Internet. Thank you all SO much!**


	12. Letter 8

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

Having mutant lizard babies together while in a superevolved state brought on by a failed Warp 10 flight does not constitute a basis for a relationship. In addition—

_B'Elanna here. If anyone "ships" Tom with anyone but me they will have all of their stories flamed and then their account and stories wiped out of existance by my handy little computer virus._

I was about to say, B'Elanna would be very angry, but I believe she made that quite clear. Just don't do it.

Sincerely, Captain Kathryn Janeway _and Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres_

**A/N B'Elanna, that's mean! I repeat, these are not the views of the author. I can't control what they send me. ;)**

**This was requested by ForensAnthro. I will take your request if I can do something with it.**


	13. Letter 9

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

If you're receiving this, that means the Doctor's link worked again. Like him, I'd rather not have Seven read this.

I thought that by refusing Seven, I'd be ridiculed. You know, people saying I could have taken advantage of her and I was weak or worse for not (although really, it's because I have morals). Instead you persist in thinking we could get together. That's great! I mean, I'm trying to get over her, but I still like to think there's a possibility, and I'm glad you support me. Those of you who don't support Chakotay/Seven, or Janeway/Seven, or B'Elanna/Seven, or Doctor/Seven (which I'm pretty sure the Doctor created the link to write you about), that is.

Anyhow, thanks! Please keep writing.

Sincerely, Ensign Harry Kim

**A/N One of the best scenes of Voyager EVER. **

**If you have suggestions, feel free to tell me, but I have a bunch of letters already written, so I might have already covered your idea.**


	14. Letter 10

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

I asked Seven to search whether there were T or M-rated fics with me in them. She said yes! Why do you write things about me that I can't read?

Sincerely, Captain's Assistant Naomi Wildman

**A/N Short, I know. But hey, she's only six!**

**Late, I know. Sorry. The next one will be up sooner to make up for it.**

**Thanks for your support, as always.**


	15. Letter 11

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

Why do you all hate me? I'm the morale officer! I try to make people happy! And my knowledge of the Delta Quadrant has helped Voyager countless times! And where would Voyager be without its chef? If only you could try my zesty plomeek soup, I'm sure you'd understand my contributions to this crew!

Sincerely, Chief Morale Officer, ship's ambassador, and head chef, Neelix

**A/N Quick update, because the last one was late.**

**Neelix does get hated on a lot. **

**If there's something in fanfiction you think they'd get mad at (or like), feel free to tell me**


	16. Letter 12

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

I happened to glance at Neelix's console, and I am aware of the contents of the letter he just sent you. You were misinformed. Neelix's "zesty" plomeek soup is not his greatest contribution to his crew. His knowledge of the Delta Quadrant and his party planning are far superior.

Sincerely, Lieutenant Commander Tuvok

**A/N And Tuvok sends a letter!**

**If you have requests, please tell me, but do realize that I am not in desperate need of ideas. **

**The next letter will not be on an unfamiliar topic...**


	17. Letter 13

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

Well, you're nothing if not persistent. Persistence is good. It's what got Voyager this far in one piece.

However, sometimes, persistence is foolish. It's foolish to persist in believing something exists when it doesn't. It's called self-delusion.

You persist in supporting a romantic relationship between me and Commander Chakotay. I repeat, a romantic relationship between a captain and first officer is detrimental to the command structure. If the captain and first officer are seen together too often, the crew may suspect command decisions are decided in private without their input, and that could cause hostility towards the command team. If choosing someone for a dangerous assignment, would you choose your boyfriend or girlfriend? I think not, even if they were the most qualified for the job. Or what if the relationship didn't work out? A captain and first officer must always endeavor to remain on cordial terms, and a failed relationship could cause a split. Even a lovers' quarrel could transfer from private quarters to the briefing room.

Another point: not everyone on board knows a couple of ensigns, so they will be able to have a relationship with only their friends knowing about it. A captain and first officer—actually, any senior officers, but most especially a captain and first officer—can't have a relationship without the entire ship knowing about it and gossiping.

In face of all this evidence, can you still say you think we'll get together?

Sincerely, Captain Kathryn Janeway

**A/N I nearly convinced myself while writing this letter. Well, "almost" is the key word.**


	18. Response to Letter 13

**I tried not to make this J/C, but it is because I am not talented enough to overcome my own preferences. It's not any more obvious than what was shown on the show, though.**

* * *

The crew had been meeting in the astrometrics lab regularly to read fanfiction and otherwise browse the Internet for information about them. Overall, these meetings had been uneventful, except for the occasional moan of disgust. The only incident was when Tom had received a response to his letter. So far, no one else had, though Janeway had read the reviews for the fanfiction where the letters were being posted, and had addressed them in her letter.

"Captain, I am receiving a transmission from fanfiction dot net," Seven said.

Tom suddenly looked scared.

"It is not for you, Mr. Paris."

Tom relaxed.

"It is for the captain and Commander Chakotay, in response to the captain's last letter." Seven tapped at her console to bring up the message, and her eyebrows shot up. "There are three responses."

"Send them to my ready room," Janeway said. "Chakotay, you're with me."

They walked down the corridor into a turbolift. "Bridge," Janeway ordered, and the lift began its ascent.

The lift was silent, and Janeway pondered the situation. Her character and that of Chakotay's had touched these people from the 21st century. People cared about them, admired them. Respected them. But they were also considered fictional characters, which meant that these people felt that, to some degree, they could make them do what they felt was right. Which was to get together. Something about the way she and Chakotay interacted seemed to make the fans think they should be a couple. Something had made them see a romance where there was none. And despite being informed to the contrary, they persisted. Why were they so passionate about matchmaking people they had never met?

She was startled out of her thoughts by Chakotay speaking.

"I wonder how the fans would interpret this."

"Interpret what?"

"The fact that we're standing in a turbolift together."

"They would read far too much into it."

He nodded. "I agree. I wonder why, though?"

"Perhaps the letters will offer some explanation," Janeway said as the doors opened.

They crossed the bridge and went into Janeway's ready room. Janeway immediately sat down and accessed the letters.

"Well, would you look at that!"

"What?" Chakotay asked.

"Someone agreed with me." She spun the console around so Chakotay could read it.

_ Dear Captain Janeway,_  
_ Good on you. I whole heartedly agree with your point of view. Chakotay has a big heart and I'm sure he has room in it for more than one meaningful relationship and I don't mean of a sexual nature._

_ I remember another J/C couple saying that if a relationship goes sour you loose the trust that you once had. This isn't the exact words she used, but the sentiment is the same._

_ Be kind to yourself though don't allow jealousy to cloud or become a wedge between you and your XO. He is your friend and always will be. There is only one person who can change that, and that is you Kathryn Janeway._

_ Kindest regards._

Chakotay raised his eyebrows. "She did presume to give you advice."

"Let's see, how about this as a response?" She typed a few sentences and then swiveled it back so Chakotay could read it.

_Dear fanfiction writer:_

_ I'm glad you agree with me. I was starting to worry that no one did. Your advice is appreciated, but it isn't anything I didn't know already. Chakotay is my friend, and I will do all I can to make sure that never changes._  
_ Sincerely, Captain Janeway _

"Thank you."

"It's only the truth."

Chakotay smiled. "The next one?"

_ Dear Kathryn Janeway,_  
_ We know that no matter how much we write we will never convince you, but that will never stop us! You and Chakotay are a match made in heaven! No matter how much you deny it, it's true! While all the points you made were very good and realistic I doubt the crew would object much to their command team being happy! Now please for the sake of all the J/C shippers out there please consider a relationship with him! _  
_ Sincerely,_  
_ A very depressed shipper_

Janeway laughed. "What a hopeless romantic! A match made in heaven?"

"She's right, no matter what we do, we'll never stop her and the other shippers."

"At least she accepts that I'm being realistic." Janeway tapped at the console a little longer, then swiveled it to face Chakotay.

_Dear depressed shipper:_  
_ I admire your strength of conviction. I share that trait, and it has been very useful to me in the Delta Quadrant. I also know from experience that if you are firmly set in your way of thinking, nothing can be said to persuade you to change your mind. So I won't try._  
_ But I will tell you this: Voyager's command team is happy._  
_ Sincerely, Captain Janeway_

Chakotay nodded in agreement. "I'd like to add something."

"Go ahead," Janeway said, relinquishing her chair.

_P.S. From Commander Chakotay: You shouldn't be depressed about us not being together. We care for each other and we're very good friends._

Janeway looked over his addition. "She was probably joking."

"Even a joke about being depressed means that she feels bad about it, and she shouldn't."

"Fair point," Janeway conceded, reclaiming her spot. "Shall we look at the last one?"

"Of course."

Janeway accessed it, and her eyes widened. "Oh dear."

"What is it?"

"A full-length essay."

_ Dear Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay of the Starship Voyager._

_ Allow me to make a few points to you._

_ You are 70,000 light years from home (or less depending on where you are when you receive this letter.) I honestly do not believe that Starfleet expects you to be alone (and by that I mean an emotional relationship, intimate relationship). _

_ I strongly believe that a relationship between the captain and First officer when you're on the other side of the galaxy will strengthen your command relationship more than you could never know. It will cause your crew to love you even more and become closer to you. When I watch Voyager, I don't see a crew, I see a family. You are the mother of the crew...and I bet the crew sees Chakotay as the father. _

_ Your evidence is a moot point. I can give you numerous examples of this relationship working but I'm not going to. You are resourceful enough to do your own research. Besides, you're hundreds of years in the future so there a probably thousands of more examples that hasn't even happened yet. _

_ What if you have to send Chakotay or children on missions? I'm sorry Captain but I can again give you numerous examples of parents, spouses, children going on different missions in the most dangerous circumstances. An ancient king sent his four sons into a dangerous part of the country where the people were murderous and evil. They were so bad that I liken them to the Kazon. But he sent his four sons anyway because he has faith in them and loved them. And they all returned._

_ So quite frankly, given my own research, and given the evidences that I can give, your arguments have no basis in fact. But considering most of them are religious in nature I know that you will most likely balk at them._

_ And I'm gonna be blunt. IF you're so worried about people gossiping then...I guess you don't wanna hear what those two ensigns in the Jefferies tube were saying about you and it has nothing to do with your relationship with Chakotay!_

_ Your evidences are not solid. They are empty. Besides, do you really want Chakotay to fall for Seven? And do you want to be the bitter Admiral because you choose to be alone? No one should be alone, not even the Captain. You need someone, and I don't mean of a sexual nature._

_ And Chakotay, the same argument applies to you to. I know that you are a spiritual man. I am certain that you hold family and marriages to the highest standards. And if I ever catch you with Seven in a romantic relationship, so help me I'll come to the future and beat you to a bloody pulp. :-D And I'm certain that Tom and B'Elanna would not like the relationship idea either._

_ Sincerely_  
_ Someone from that past who thinks you both are stubborn ding dongs. :-D_

Chakotay was not someone who reacted very strongly to things, but once he finished reading the letter, he looked flabbergasted. "Where to begin…?"

"Let's take this one paragraph at a time," Janeway said. "In the first one, she says that Starfleet doesn't expect us to be alone in the Delta Quadrant."

"Well, it's not like we're alone."

"No," Janeway agreed. "And it implies that we aren't friends."

"And that a friendship can't be an emotional and intimate relationship," Chakotay agreed, and Janeway smiled.

"Trying to convince people that we're not dating has made me value the relationship we do have," she said, and then started typing her response.

_Dear Someone from the past,_

_Quite honestly, I never expected I would get such a well-thought out and lengthy response. I will not lie, this is not an easy letter to reply to._

_Your first point is that Starfleet would not expect us to be alone. You're forgetting that we aren't alone. We have each other, and that doesn't have to be in a romantic or sexual way. We can be friends, and the crew can be our friends, and that is very fulfilling._

Chakotay nodded. "What's the next paragraph?"

Janeway glanced back at it. "Something about it strengthening the command relationship, because Voyager's crew is like a family and we're the parents."

Chakotay nodded. "I see her point, and I agree with it."

Janeway's eyebrows shot up. "Chakotay?"

"Voyager's crew_ is_ like a family, with us as the leaders. By extension, the mother and father. However, I disagree that that analogy should be taken so far. I highly doubt Tom and B'Elanna would like to think of us as parents."

"No," Janeway agreed. Then she tilted her head to the side and bit her bottom lip in thought. "But..."

"But what?"

"Out in the Delta Quadrant...shouldn't we be forming closer bonds?"

"Are you agreeing with her?"

Janeway shrugged. "The next paragraph is saying that there's plenty of evidence that this type of relationship works. And the next says that my argument about sending people on away missions is irrelevant because of an ancient story about a king who sent his four sons into dangerous territory, but believed that they would come back, and they did. Last I checked, believing in something didn't make it so." An edge crept into her voice on the last sentence, and both of them remembered how many times the crew had believed they'd get home and had had their hopes dashed.

"She was probably saying you should trust me," Chakotay said sensibly, leaning over her shoulder to read the next paragraph. "She's right. You do balk at these sorts of things: folktales, religion." His tone turned slightly accusatory.

She arched an eyebrow. "I do, because those things can so easily be fantasy and superstition, and that is not what I base my decisions upon."

"Fair enough," Chakotay conceded as Janeway started typing the next section.

*You also make the point that there is evidence in folktales and religion. Those are not necessarily a sound basis for decision making, but I do realize that I should trust Chakotay to take care of himself on away missions. You win this point.

How would you know what the ensigns are saying?*

Chakotay laughed at the last part. "I don't know what she was implying there."

"Neither do I," Janeway said, reading the next bit and then tapping out her response.

*I am not thinking that far ahead. Voyager won't get home for many years, so I don't see myself as an admiral any time soon. And once again, I don't need Chakotay. I have him already, as a dear friend.*

She stood up. "The next part's directed at you." She gestured for him to sit down in her chair, and he did so as she moved to his chair.

Chakotay furrowed his brow. "What is a colon dash uppercase D? And why is it after a threat to beat me to a pulp?"

Janeway leaned over to see and tilted her head. "It looks like a face if you look at it sideways. But it's...smiling?"

"Maybe that's her way of saying it's a joke."

"I hope so," he said, starting his response.

_I am spiritual, and I do value family. Marriage is a far leap, though. And why do you mention Seven?_

_Tom and B'Elanna have nothing to do with this. If the captain and I had feelings for each other, it wouldn't be their concern, and it isn't now._

He swiveled the console into Janeway's line of sight and said "Anything you want to add?"

She shook her head. "Only this," she said, and added the closing "Sincerely, Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay". She sent it through the link, and then sighed. "I'm glad that's over."

"Are we still on for dinner tonight?" Chakotay asked.

"Yes," Janeway said, relaxing. "Despite the fact that the 'shippers' would read too much into it."

"They're in the past, they don't affect us," Chakotay agreed.

"Besides," Janeway said, standing up and smiling, "How is it a romantic dinner if I keep burning it?"

Chakotay smiled back, and they walked out.

* * *

**A/N Now the OFFICIAL author's note.**

**First of all, apologies for the incredibly late update. You see, Voyager passed through an ion storm, and that severed the link, and then B'Elanna got pregnant and therefore didn't have a chance to repair it until recently. [The Real World got busy, and this scene was tough to write. And I've gotten to the seventh season of Voyager.]**

**Thanks to Lizzy74656, a guest, and A Different Perspective for the letters.**

**More letters will be coming, and your ideas are always appreciated! Reply letters to the ones I post here will probably not be responded too as they involve writing actual scenes and I don't really have time.**


	19. Letter 14

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

You enjoy "shipping" the Voyager crew members with each other. However, I seem to be largely exempt from this treatment, and I am at a loss as to why. I am married, but if you ignore sexual orientation, protocol, and the personal wishes of those involved, it seems illogical that you would find marital status an obstacle.

Sincerely, Lieutenent Commander Tuvok

**A/N Tuvok has very few fics. And not many shippy ones.**


	20. Letter 15

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

I take back my early statement. You "ship" me with the captain. A deep and long-lasting friendship is not a relationship. It seems to be an obvious fact, but logic does not seem to apply to fanfiction writers.

I believe it goes without saying that I would prefer if you desist. And don't start "shipping" me either.

Sincerely, Lieutenant Commander Tuvok

**A/N In response to "Ajax"'s review, but originally r****equested by Jedi Master Misty Sman-Esay.**


	21. Letter 16

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

When B'Elanna was having trouble fitting into our Starfleet crew, I gave her the chance to prove herself. I tried to believe in her, and I found her worthy of that faith. I consider her a very close friend.

But I am not in a romantic relationship with her, nor will I ever be. See B'Elanna's responses to B'Elanna/Seven, Janeway/Paris, and Tom Paris/Delta Flyer.

I separated Seven from the Collective. I helped her adjust to humanity—actually, I'm still helping her adjust to humanity, though she's made tremendous strides. I want her to be able to live up to her fullest human potential, and I'm proud when she does something that seems to do that. In short, I consider her a sort of daughter.

Therefore, I am not in a romantic relationship with her, nor will I ever be. I just couldn't see her that way.

I hope this letter clarifies things.

Sincerely, Captain Kathryn Janeway

**A/N Requested by a guest reviewer called Hikari, abishop47, and androidilenya.**


	22. Letter 17

__Dear Fanfiction Writers:

I am grateful for all the captain has done for me. I admire her devotion to duty and her human kindness. I consider her a role model.

However, I am not in a romantic relationship with her, nor will I ever be. See my earlier letter concerning romance.

Sincerely, Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero-One

**A/N Seven's side of the last letter.**


	23. Letter 18

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

I thought I'd seen it all when I found out about Janeway/Seven. But now I have found a couple that is even more against the wishes of those involved. (Well, actually, I'm not certain about his end, but I am _completely _certain about mine).

Janeway/Q.

I suppose you're building off the time that he wanted me to be the mother of his child. Let me refresh your memory: he decorated my quarters with tacky heart-shaped pillows. I told him I didn't need his tawdry attempts at seduction, so he attempted to convince me by showing me how badly the continuum needed new blood and how he wanted something human in there. Well, I explained to him that the traits he wanted weren't passed on genetically, so if he wanted his child to have them he'd need to teach the child and it wouldn't matter who the parent was. He eventually mated with another Q and they had a son.

You'll notice, I refused him. Also take note of the fact that he mated with another Q. If someone is an omnipotent being with an inflated ego, do you think they will leave their equal for a member of a lesser species? The only reason he wanted me in the first place was because he thought a child needed to have human parentage to have human values. After that reason was gone, he had no reason to choose me.

And I wouldn't mate with him if he were the last male in the galaxy. Honestly, despite my earlier objections, I don't mind Janeway/Chakotay so much anymore.

(That doesn't mean it's going to happen).

Sincerely, Captain Kathryn Janeway

**A/N Requested by Jedi Master Misty Sman-Esay and by a couple guests. Though I can't respond to you and tell you exactly, I really appreciate all the guest reviews.**

**On a sort-of related note, just saw the episode "Q2" recently. It was awesome.**

**Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving to anyone who celebrates it.**


	24. Letter 19

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

Yes, I get grumpy if I don't get my morning coffee. Yes, I beat the Borg with it, and I use it to help me get through the stressful days that are all too frequent in the Delta Quadrant. Yes, it is my favorite beverage. Yes, I eat Neelix's food so that I can use all my replicator rations for it. (because otherwise, all I'll have is Neelix's "better than coffee", and don't get me started on how that could never compare to the heavenly substance that is real coffee.)

But no, I am not addicted to coffee. Please stop saying I am, implying that I am, or jokingly pairing "Janeway/Coffee". Really? At least it's a joke, unlike some other crazy pairings. But really, I'm not.

Sincerely, Captain Kathryn Janeway

**A/N Inspired by a review by Lliaaame who said something about Janeway/Replicator. **


	25. Letter 20

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

Normally, I wouldn't contradict the captain, but in this case I have to.

She _is_ addicted to coffee, for all the reasons she listed in the last letter. It does not, however, hinder her ability to command. Although I can testify that she nearly activates self-destruct if her coffee spills, and that if you want her to be in a good mood, wait until she's had coffee.

Sincerely, Commander Chakotay

**A/N 155 reviews! Thanks!**


	26. Letter 21

_C'mon, Harry, tell them!  
I don't want to upset them, Tom.  
You've written to them before, right?  
Yes.  
Then how is this different?  
Those were supportive.  
So, you want to let them keep writing those characters?  
Well, no.  
So tell them not to, for Kahless's sake!  
B'Elanna been researching Klingon culture?  
…Yes. But don't change the subject.  
Fine, fine!  
_Dear Fanfiction Writers:  
Here are some examples of women I've fallen for:  
Seven of Nine, former Borg drone.  
A hologram.  
The Delaney sister that _didn't_ have a crush on me.  
An old academy friend who died and came back to Voyager as a strange bald alien, then decided to return to her new alien family.  
A racing pilot that was trying to sabotage the race.  
And of course, my fiancé, Libby. Our relationship might have worked, but Voyager got stranded in the Delta Quadrant.  
So, while I'm flattered that you love me, you don't want to be someone _I_ fall for. So, quit writing those stories where a version of you comes aboard Voyager and we fall in love. It won't happen, and you don't want it to.  
Sincerely, Ensign Harry Kim

**A/N Suggested by Jedi Master Misty Sman-Esay. Ah, good old Sue-bashing. **

**In other news, I only have a few more letters written. If you have ideas please let me know!**


	27. Letter 22

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

Pon farr happens every seven years. It appears that the television show of Voyager covers a time span of seven years, so I would go through pon farr once in those seven years, which I did, and it became an episode called "Blood Fever". Pon farr is the only time I would desire a mate. Therefore, any stories about a romance between me and a female character of your own creation are completely illogical. I have also been informed that such characters are called "Mary Sues" and that creating one is a trademark of bad writing. Please desist.

Sincerely, Ensign Vorik

**A/N A large portion of Vorik fanfiction is Vorik/OC. Poor little Vulcan ensign. **

**I still need ideas...**


	28. Letter 23

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

I realize my voice is raspy and rather un-feminine in some respects, but that does _not _mean it is deep or manly. And I never smoked. If you really want to know…let's just say, I've shouted far too many orders in my time. It takes a toll on your voice after a while.

Sincerely, Captain Kathryn Janeway

**A/N Requested by ghosteye99 and a guest. Tell me if you have ideas for more letters!**


	29. Welcome, Icheb!

Icheb walked into astrometrics, intending to continue studying for his Starfleet Academy entrance exams. His eyes widened, and he stopped in the doorway.

"Why is everyone here?"

Seven looked up from her console next to Tuvok's. "Come over here and I'll show you."

Icheb walked over and looked at the console. "Star Trek: Voyager?"

"It was a television show on late twentieth century Earth, detailing the adventures of this ship."

"How would people in the twentieth century be aware of Voyager?"

"We don't know," Seven said. "But we have found that our television show has a fanbase, many of whom are harmless fans. However, there are some who enjoy doing things with our characters that we find..." She paused. "Distasteful," she decided. "We have managed to communicate with those who write stories, the "fanfiction writers"."

Icheb leaned over. "Are they aware of my existence?"

"Yes," Seven replied. "If you wish, you can read fanfiction and write letters of your own."

"I will," Icheb said, finding an empty console and sitting down to read.

**A/N Kind of pointless little scene, but since Icheb wasn't mentioned at the beginning I figured I needed to show him. If you have any ideas about what he'd write, please let me know!**


	30. Letter 24

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

I do not say "Spirits!" when I want to curse. If I want to curse, I will curse, though not usually on the bridge in front of anyone.

I suppose you're thinking that that is the equivalent of saying "God!" It isn't. And you are in no position to make assumptions about my spirituality, since you don't even have the name of a tribe with which to start your research.

So, if there is a situation requiring me to curse (I do not curse casually, however, so do be careful) you can have me curse normally.

Sincerely, Commander Chakotay

**A/N Requested by AlexaB and a guest. I haven't actually seen it myself.**


	31. Letter 25

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

I do not currently have a daughter. I may eventually in the far distant future get married and have children, but that probably won't be while we're in the Delta Quadrant or while Naomi is still a child. Or, if Naomi is still a child, my daughter would be much younger. And if she is Naomi's age, you're implying that she was conceived before Voyager got stuck in the Delta Quadrant.

Which brings me to fatherhood. If she was conceived before Voyager got stranded, that implies that she is…Mark's daughter? As far as I know, none of you "ship" me with him. You ship me with Chakotay. If he's the father, you must first recognize that we are not in a relationship, but bar that, there is no possible way she would be Naomi's age or close to it, since that would imply that within a year of meeting we conceived a child.

And don't get me started on Femme-Preg. Perhaps you should go take a basic biology class.

Besides the issue of her age and parentage, I would like to point out that no matter how capable my daughter is, I won't give her command. If something incapacitated all the adults, it probably wouldn't affect the Doctor. And if it affected him too, then command would go to the most experienced child, which, assuming you haven't mangled the timeline, would be Icheb or Naomi.

All these flaws add up to a Mary Sue. Please, if you're going to write me a daughter, do it in a non-Mary Sue way.

Sincerely, Captain Kathryn Janeway

**A/N Seriously, those Janeway's daughter Sues are really annoying. Actually, all Sues are annoying, so...**


	32. Letter 26

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

There are certain…activities, which, according to written or unwritten Starfleet regulations, are not permitted in certain sections of the ship. Like the turbolifts. Or the Jeffries tubes. Or Engineering. Tom and I broke those rules and got a stern lecture from Captain Janeway on the senior staff having to curb their impulses in order to be role models for lower ranks.

And we didn't even do _half_ of what you're implying Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay are doing in Jeffries tubes and turbolifts, and we were lectured. Do you think Captain Janeway is so hypocritical as to lecture us for breaking regulations and then go break them herself? I'm frankly disgusted that you would think that of the captain.

Sincerely, Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres

**A/N Requested by a guest. Yes, B'Elanna's implying what you think she's implying. ;)**


	33. Letter 27

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

The Borg are not emotional. They do not feel love. They do not get angry. They are driven by a desire for perfection, and they assimilate what helps them achieve their goal and destroy what does not.

I was raised by the Borg, and their ideals, abhorrent though they are, are an integral part of my character. Forget them, and you have not written me correctly. I do not express emotion without due cause, and I will not abandon my quest for perfection. Do not write me doing so.

Sincerely, Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero-One

**A/N Apologies for the double posting, thanks, androidilenya, for pointing that out. In fact, I believe you suggested this one, so thank you again. **

**I was just showing you all how desperately I need ideas. :)**


	34. Letter 28

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

I am ashamed of you. One would think, if one encouraged an activity, more people would do it. And if someone discouraged an activity, less people would do it. I told you that I would like you to write Doctor/Seven, and the captain told you she did _not_ want you to write Janeway/Chakotay. Yet, when I check fanfiction dot net, I find that there are more stories labeled Janeway/Chakotay romance than Doctor/Seven romance! At first I thought that perhaps my opinions didn't matter to you because I'm a hologram. Maybe you didn't think I could truly have feelings for Seven. But then I realized you were also defying the captain. How dare you! I thought you admired us! I-  
_Harry here. I saw him typing on his personal link with an angry expression on his face. The captain told us to keep it civil, so I went over and stopped him.  
Just going to take this opportunity to say that there's even less Kim/Seven._

**A/N Oh, Doctor...Oh, Harry...**_  
_

**Ideas, please. :)**


	35. Letter 29

Dear Fanfiction Writers:

I hate time travel. It gives me headaches, not to mention tampering with the Temporal Prime Directive. Captain Braxton could also use it as another excuse to try to destroy Voyager. Furthermore, unexpected occurances tend to be dangerous in the Delta Quadrant.

Which means that if a teenage girl from the 21st century appears on my bridge, I will not automatically trust her. At first, I will suspect her of being an alien impostor taking a relatively innocent form to trick us. Then, once she is checked by the Doctor, I will still not trust her, because she claims to have time traveled. I will be worried that there is a temporal anomaly or some unknown force messing with the timestream. The safety of my ship would come first.

I would not trust her until she had proven her trustworthiness. Predicting what will happen to us will not make me trust her. Neither will saving the ship with some skill that my engineering staff have. Both of those would simply make me feel that she knew far too much about our ship and our lives. Even if she used that knowledge to help us, I couldn't know whether she would next use that knowledge against us. Saving a crew member's life when there was nothing to gain by it would convince me, I think. A mind meld with Tuvok where he probed her intentions and said they not hostile would also convince me. I am not easily swayed.

Especially if her explanation for time travel is Q. It seems unlikely that he would be interested in an ordinary teenage fan if there wasn't something about her that would mess up our lives.

So please, don't send a time traveler to my ship, since I don't like or trust time travelers.

(Most of them are Sues anyway, and I've just found out I don't like those either.)

Sincerely, Captain Kathryn Janeway

**A/N 21st century girl falls into [insert name of fandom here] has got to be one of the most unrealistic Sue types out there. Go Janeway!**

**Still need ideas.**


End file.
